Iowa Caucuses

After an evening of ancient and arcane ritual, the people of Iowa have presented us with their choices for the major-party candidates in the 2008 presidential election:

Mike Huckabee had a surprisingly strong showing, buoyed by his performance as a bass player on The Tonight Show and his performance as an actor in the movie I Heart Huckabees. Fear of reprisal by Chuck Norris may also have played a part in the decision.

Barack Obama edged out John Edwards and Hillary Clinton on the strength of his not being either John Edwards or Hillary Clinton.

The campaign now moves to New Hampshire, where a small group of farmers and backwoodsmen will give a more credible and influential assessment of the candidates.